Tidbits for Political Junkies with Short Attention Spans & Hearty Appetites


Monday, May 24, 2004


Not ... Much...Energy...Today

Maybe I need to try one of these.

William Grimes, the erstwhile New York Times Restaurant critic & and demographically untypical consumer of "energy drinks," explores the effects of the "demon spawn of Jolt Cola" -- downing thirteen of the little 8-ounce cans of club-kid propellant in three days.

After replacing his customary morning cup of tea with one can each of New York Minute, Stacker2Stinger, and Bottle Rocket, Grimes describes his mental state:

At this point, my energy level was not only elevated, it was speeding toward the red line. I felt myself staring holes through my computer screen, typing at five times my normal rate and thinking far too creatively about life questions like how many AA batteries I needed to buy when I went to the drug store. My mood was chipper. Too chipper. I was beginning to see why the sale of Red Bull, the leading energy drink in Europe, has been restricted to pharmacies in some countries there because of its high caffeine content. Young club-goers smooth out their energy drinks by mixing them with vodka. A bad idea at 8 a.m., I decided. Better to catalog my neckties.

Since the article sadly lacked a convenient accompanying table (perhaps Frank Prial couldn't be talked into joining this effort), I'll note what appeared to be the favorites: Liquid Ice, which "looks exactly like Windex," but is "refreshingly tart and lemony;" and Adrenaline Rush, "which turned out to be delicious."

The worst? Stacker2Stinger's "Sinful Citrus," which combines "an insipid, vaguely lemon flavor with a shocking blue-green color" and "looks like a product intended to be poured in the toilet."

Most interesting side effect? His wife's reaction:
My wife eyed me curiously. "Have you been drinking those weird drinks?" she asked. A goofy, out-of-context smile on my face provided the answer.

"You know, I think I like you better after you drink those things," she said. "They make you a better person." I will analyze this statement closely for the next several months.



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